Andrea cox
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Archive for the tag “San Diego”
Have faith that you are provided for until your earth husband comes along.
They say you should fear nothing. I do, I fear one thing and that is going broke. This has been my only fear for quite a long time and it has controlled many of the decisions I have made in my life. From where to live to what type of car I drive and sadly it’s even controlled who I choose to be in relationships with. You see, although I am now making OK money, truth be told I have been living off a savings that I made as a model for almost seven years now. Now that savings is gone and I face yet another move, I am petrified and feeling alone. About a year ago I was living in a condo in Del Mar across from the ocean for about $3000 per month. I loved it there. I loved the ocean breeze, the morning beach runs and all the beauty that is Del Mar! Then I had a flood. I was about four months into a relationship at the time of this flood and began frantically looking for housing. I had lived there for two years since moving from a big fancy five bedroom home in Ohio. You could say I was spoiled and beyond when it came to living circumstances! The man I was with lived in an RV with his surf boards and dog when I met him. It was a charmed existence of simplicity that I was attracted to however I never “lowered myself” to admit that I felt it was inviting and just one month later he sold that RV. When he sold the RV I specifically remember him saying to me “you would never see me with respect if I kept living there”. I remember thinking to myself “WOW, am I that spoiled that this guy thinks I am that shallow that I wouldn’t love him for who he is? We were after all together for a few months at this point.
Fast forward to the flood and me desperately searching for housing. Here I am frantically searching when the “man-pan-ion sends me an E-mail letting me know he wants to mesh our fur baby family together in a nice big rental home. Never mind my fear of us moving in before marriage because he had a ring to place upon my hand to back his actions up.
So here we have this beautiful man who changed his entire way of living to give me what he thought I wanted and then we had me who was petrified of going broke and set her faith in God that he would provide for me aside. You see, Instead of doing the honorable thing, instead of moving out on my own once again and struggling a bit more (I had little money coming in) I chose to take the easy road instead of the high road and moved in with this man.
We were like two teenage kids trying to make it. Two people who loved each other so very much, had passion for one another and who had chosen to wait to be intimate. We were on our way to becoming an “US” and had something that is difficult to find these days, a true heart to heart connection. All this man wanted to do was take my stress away and all I wanted to do is love him in return.
As fate would have it, and as my Christian mentor told me “wait”. Wait to move in, wait to accept the ring. I know we should have no regrets and I know that we make every decision for a reason however this was one decision that one year later has me in a much worse predicament.
Instead of placing my faith in God that he would provide me with all of my needs, I moved in with the man only to have things crumble just two months later. Everything was set in fast forward ironically just how this lovely man thought it should be. It brought everything to an end before it had a chance to fully blossom or even begin.
So here I am with no money in my savings one year later due to paying a $4000 per month rent that has just jumped up to 4600 per month and building my business on my own. I am in a much worse position financially and truth be told I am more worried, more scared and more sleepless than ever. This time however I’m putting my faith in someone or something much bigger than myself. I’m not handing things off to a man to “fix” I’m not even fixing them myself. I’m handing them over to my one and only father above, my provider and the one entity that will husband me until my Earth husband comes along.
Namaste
Reducing Stress
Hi, everybody! I want to show you how I get myself grounded, and also show you beautiful Torrey Pines State Beach, right outside my backyard in San Diego, CA. Hint: It involves being barefoot on the beach. Literally grounding yourself to the earth is a wonderful, natural, easy way to de-stress.
Andrea cox 