Dear God, Thank you for this beautiful life…forgive me if I don’t appreciate it enough!

Today I woke up still stuffed up and unable to breath. This was day three. I’m use to being able to jump out of bed every single morning full of energy ready to take on he day! The past three days I have not been able to do the things I like to do to the degree of perfection that I like to perform them in.

 

Then it hit me…like a ton of bricks it slapped me off of my ridiculous self centered chair! I have an AMAZING LIFE! A REALLY AMAZING LIFE! The oppurtunities I’ve been given most will never see and or experience in this lifetime!

The family Ive been gifted with is THE BEST family I could have EVER asked for! I have an ADORABLE nephew! I have a huge platform where I can stretch my creative arms and express myself! Most will never achieve even a fraction of this! Heck…I’m even considered by many to be beautiful! I’m intelligent and I speak from a conscious place within my heart that many never get to speak from…..I’ve written and published two books, I have a huge following, a family that loves me and I KNOW AND LOVE GOD DEARLY!

So this is what I decided to do! I decided to write a letter to God…an apology of sorts! For being so self centered and for not appreciating the things he has given me! Before you begin to laugh at my “Dear God letter” I encourage you to do the same! It has me walking around smiling from ear to ear! 

Dear God…I want to thank you for this very breath I am taking as I write this letter to you! I want to praise you for my family! Thank you for my beautiful mother that knows when to push and when to pull back! Thank you for my two stunning older sisters and the connection we have always had and always will have! Thank you for Cassandra being a complete comic who has always made me laugh! Thank you for Stacey who taught me everything I needed to know about being “a pretty girl”! From make-up to hair…watching her taught me how to always pull it together! Thank you for my Grandmother La Golda who grew her own food and sang songs out of the bible to me al throughout my childhood and teenage years! She will always be the glue that holds us together! And thank you for my father who went to be with you when I was ten years old and he just thirty six. The lesson of losing him so un expectedly taught me that in life, we must love everyone fully with an open heart and treat them as if the day is there last.

Thank you for allowing me to realize the day my nephew Alex was born that life can get even better with the birth of a child! Thank you for my furry little husband Louis who is always eagerly awaiting my return home! 

Thank you for my eating disorder over a decade ago that got me onto this juicing, raw vegan detox path where I have made a very deep mark for others to follow! I LOVE YOU GOD! Most of all I want to thank you for dying on the cross so that I could be forgiven for each and every one of my sins! I promise to appreciate all of the gifts you have given to me and to treat every day as if its my last!

I Love you, Andrea

I pray tonight that all of you will write your Dear God letter tonight and may you be blessed as I have been beyond measure!

Let us enjoy the journey! 

Dear God, I love you

Have faith that you are provided for until your earth husband comes along.

They say you should fear nothing. I do, I fear one thing and that is going broke. This has been my only fear for quite a long time and it has controlled many of the decisions I have made in my life. From where to live to what type of car I drive and sadly it’s even controlled who I choose to be in relationships with. You see, although I am now making OK money, truth be told I have been living off a savings that I made as a model for almost seven years now. Now that savings is gone and I face yet another move, I am petrified and feeling alone. About a year ago I was living in a condo in Del Mar across from the ocean for about $3000 per month. I loved it there. I loved the ocean breeze, the morning beach runs and all the beauty that is Del Mar! Then I had a flood. I was about four months into a relationship at the time of this flood and began frantically looking for housing. I had lived there for two years since moving from a big fancy five bedroom home in Ohio. You could say I was spoiled and beyond when it came to living circumstances! The man I was with lived in an RV with his surf boards and dog when I met him. It was a charmed existence of simplicity that I was attracted to however I never “lowered myself” to admit that I felt it was inviting and just one month later he sold that RV. When he sold the RV I specifically remember him saying to me “you would never see me with respect if I kept living there”. I remember thinking to myself “WOW, am I that spoiled that this guy thinks I am that shallow that I wouldn’t love him for who he is? We were after all together for a few months at this point.

Fast forward to the flood and me desperately searching for housing. Here I am frantically searching when the “man-pan-ion sends me an E-mail letting me know he wants to mesh our fur baby family together in a nice big rental home.   Never mind my fear of us moving in before marriage because he had a ring to place upon my hand to back his actions up. 

So here we have this beautiful man who changed his entire way of living to give me what he thought I wanted and then we had me who was petrified of going broke and set her faith in God that he would provide for me aside. You see, Instead of doing the honorable thing, instead of moving out on my own once again and struggling a bit more (I had little money coming in) I chose to take the easy road instead of the high road and moved in with this man.

We were like two teenage kids trying to make it. Two people who loved each other so very much, had passion for one another and who had chosen to wait to be intimate. We were on our way to becoming an “US” and had something that is difficult to find these days, a true heart to heart connection. All this man wanted to do was take my stress away and all I wanted to do is love him in return. 

As fate would have it, and as my Christian mentor told me “wait”. Wait to move in, wait to accept the ring. I know we should have no regrets and I know that we make every decision for a reason however this was one decision that one year later has me in a much worse predicament.

Instead of placing my faith in God that he would provide me with all of my needs, I moved in with the man only to have things crumble just two months later. Everything was set in fast forward ironically just how this lovely man thought it should be. It brought everything to an end before it had a chance to fully blossom or even begin. 

So here I am with no money in my savings one year later due to paying a $4000 per month rent that has just jumped up to 4600 per month and building my business on my own. I am in a much worse position financially and truth be told I am more worried, more scared and more sleepless than ever. This time however I’m putting my faith in someone or something much bigger than myself. I’m not handing things off to a man to “fix” I’m not even fixing them myself. I’m handing them over to my one and only father above, my provider and the one entity that will husband me until my Earth husband comes along.

Namaste