A Daily Mantra!

Yesterday I treated myself to a 90 minute Lomi Lomi massage! This ancient Hawaiian modality allows you to “wipe the slate clean” in order to move forward in any area of your life. Twenty minutes in, the woman performing the massage said, “all of this tightness in your back and neck doesn’t belong to you”. You are carrying someone else’s sh**. She told me this year was my year of transformation!

She then said “you are divinely protected by God, angels & the universe, I feel this”! I won’t argue with her statement. This is how I feel every day. Surrounded with a white light of protection.

The following are questions I’ve been asking myself daily!

How are you showing up in your life?

Have you let someone down? Fix it!

Have you been unkind to another? Apologize!

Have you not been living up to your FULL potential? Step it up!

Has your exercise routine been lacking? Do something different! I’ve been hiking a lot lately!

Everyday is a new day to begin again! Use the quote on my photo as a daily mantra! Move forward with a clean slate! Love you ~ Andrea

A love story

Sometimes when we don’t have the answers we can be consumed by the fear of not knowing.

Confusion sets in after a significant length of time. A time of Unnecessary traumatic events occurring on an going basis. And for no apparent reason.

I began to question my own actions

Even though he repeatedly admitted to self sabotaging any relationship that neared commitment.

Confusion is the darkest place where the mind leaves no stone unturned. 

It’s a place I’m trying to get out of.

A place I’ve been alone in for far too long.

Confusion will give you faith

And faith will keep you stuck for far too long!

Then there are the questions 

Why can’t he just be happy?

Why can’t he “just be” in the moment?

Why is he always searching for the next “fix”?

Why does he scream at me

Why does he scar me with words

Words that make me feel I need to protect myself

Protect myself from my protector

You begin to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself.

You begin to shy away from leaving the house.

You begin to sleep a little longer.

You stay awake at night searching for answers.

There were days when I dreaded him walking in the door.

What would be the “dark doom” of the day today?

What would he be unhappy with?

Unsatisfied with?

What was not enough?

Maybe it’s me…

Maybe I’m no longer his light that led him out of the darkness.

Maybe I’m not pretty enough

Young enough

Old enough

Maybe I need to hit the gym more

Or maybe the same light that drew him to me would cast a light on all that is hidden.

The things he needed to see

The darkness he needed to face

Every time he came back we were both damaged a little more

I became angry

He had taught me well

He became more closed off

The hot and cold

Here and gone

Near and far was exhausting

My weight dropped

My friends fled

My heart became a wall surrounded by swords

I became a woman I no longer recognized

He hadn’t failed me

I had failed myself

And then one of us closed up completely

There was no getting in

No returning to the beautiful love story

The Picasso painting

The laughing, teasing, passion, fighting, fleeting, eagerness to make up in order to break up.

Maybe our story needed to end

Or maybe it needed to be torn down to be built again

He was my safe place

The man I craved

The only man I desired

The man I wanted to care for

The man I loved

I had fallen in love with his boyish charm

I loved that he broke me out of my shell

I loved the social side of him

The side I had buried of myself

Tears water the soul

I was “soul building”

Every time I took him back

But the last time was different

I repeatedly asked him why?

He had been gone too long

Still showing up

But gone

He wouldn’t look at me

Money? Drugs? Women?

My mind was going in circles

Ruminating thoughts for months

But then messages came in and my heart sank with each one

There was no name

There were only fake accounts

And things that no one else would know.

Why would anyone laugh at another’s pain?

I felt defeated

I wanted answers

I needed protection

He told me I was crazy

Maybe I am

I began questioning my own thoughts

My days became shorter

Then longer

Then shorter again

He said he wanted to “try”

But the word effort escaped his actions

He dragged his feet and my self esteem dropped with each day of inaction

I began craving a new story

A love story that allowed levity, joy and laughter!

Deep connection

The kind of connection he wouldn’t allow.

A story of two people who would protect a partnership at all costs

Two people who were free to be themselves

Supporting one another while freely being themselves.

He couldn’t see this

Not with me

He could only see blame and shame

Inaction and reaction

He only saw the past

Refusing to see a future

He refused to show his shadow side

The side he buried

The side she tried to show him when they first met

He began blaming me for him not being himself

I prayed he would have an awakening

For a year I prayed

A dark night of the soul

I prayed he would awaken

He was an honorable man

Surrounded by dishonorable people

I prayed he would wake up

His new found strength

Being the man he is meant to be

With the woman he loves 💗💗

Your health wealth love & happiness message of the day!

 

What are your Divine Talents?

This mornings health wealth love & happiness message✨! Today we tap into our divine talents! Whether you are a male or a female you can tap into your divine talents here on Earth! These talents have been with you through past lives but aren’t usually recognizable until you’ve gone through a series of painful events. Usually with your Twin 🔥Flame soul mate. Allow the pain to guide you into stepping into the power of using your God given gifts!

Our freedom color I have chosen is Brown! In order to truly step into the power of using your divine talents, you must first be grounded. Brown foods such as nuts and seeds ground us. Enjoy these foods in moderation as they are a bit harder to digest.

Our healthy food of the day is almonds! Almonds are the only Alkalizing nut!

Our happiness message I’ve created for you is ~ If you are “Free” yet still struggling within your ruminating thoughts & darkness within the mind, there isn’t any escape ~ Free your mind!

Our healing recipe of the day is Almond butter dressing🌱

1/2 Cup sprouted almond butter
The juice of two lemons
1/3 cup purified water
a pinch of sea salt

Blend and pour over organic greens!

I love each and every one of you! Go love yourselves!

What is Unconditional love?

I here a lot of people use the words “unconditional love” and I’ve often wondered what it means. I mean, we all have our own belief systems and perceived views of what “love” is. As I searched for my answers of what unconditional love was I found no answers. Nothing concrete anyway. I did find many false truths and I would like to share them with you below.

I’ll love you as long as you only love me and no one else

I’ll love you as long as you buy me this or pay my bills

I’ll love you as long as you keep your body perfect, your skin flawless or if your breasts are a certain size.

I’ll love you as long as you never age, never argue and don’t dare to disagree with me.

I’ll love you as long as you take care of the household duties, and continue to clean, cook and to raise our children while I become a slave to a job that I loathe!

I’ll love you as long as you can boost me to that job title or catapult me to the status I desire.

I’ll love you as long as you look pretty and keep your mouth shut.

I’ll love you as long as you agree with this religion and this political stance.

I’ll love you as long as you grow up to only fall in love with someone of the opposite sex.

I’ll love you as long as my family loves and accepts you.

I’ll love you as long as you fit into my social circle.

I’ll love you as long as you adopt the same lifestyle I do in the way of diet, exercise and sleep patterns.

I’ll love you as long as you attended and graduated from the same level or better of higher learning institution that I did.

I’ll love you as long as you have the same social appetite that I do, say going out 3-4 nights per week.

I’ll love you as long as you never gain weight, lose too much weight and always stay in the mold I’ve created you to reside in.

I’ll love you as long as you continue to show up for me when I need you and how I need you to be.

Any or all of the above unforgiving examples of love can be categorized as romantic love, a love from a child towards a parent or vice versa. It’s funny yet quite sad too. I bet there is not one of you who will read this and say “I accept all of these as false hoods” or “I would never place any of these conditions onto a loved one”.

Really? If your husband stopped paying the bills, how would you respond? With love?

If your father won’t buy you the latest gadget do you hug him or do you sulk in your room?

If your girlfriend or wife becomes ill and looses her hair or her looks, do you embrace her and stick it out until the end?

If your girlfriend said she wanted a second boyfriend, would you love her anyway?

If your family or co workers loathed your partner, would you fight for your love? Would you defend her/him and ask the outside sources to keep their opinions to themselves?

If your son opened up and said he was gay, how would you respond?

I’ve been diving DEEP lately searching for answers when I don’t have the questions . The type of questions that lead to solitude and deep inter-reflection. I can honestly say there is one of the above on the first list that I would not accept. I think it all boils down to how things are presented to us or, if they are presented to us at all. The honesty, authenticity and truth not only sets us free, but allows the person who is carrying the burden we have brought fourth to be set free too.

 

 

 

 

Having a bad day? Read this!

 

Tonight something happened that deserves mentioning. Maybe it will help one of you who are struggling out there.

I know social media is a place where we primarily show “our good side”. Happy photos of friends and family. “Date nights” and weekend trips. But this isn’t the place that I am in right now. I’m hurting and there has been a lot of emotional pain for me for quite some time.

As a pisces I am EXTREMELY intuitive by nature. This mercury retrograde has had my intuition bouncing off the walls. Some of it I tuned into and certain pieces I did not. But it’s time I allow facts to not be ignored. Someone’s treatment of me has not been kind and loving. And at times, out of frustration due to lack of communication, I too have not responded to this person in a loving way.

So tonight, I broke down. As I pulled into my quiet neighborhood I decided to park along the side of the road instead of going home. I got out of my car and collapsed gently onto the grass in tears.

With my head in my palms I sobbed.

I must have been there for twenty minutes when a woman approached me. “Are you Ok”? She asked. I told her no and began to share. We spoke for thirty minutes and when it was time to part ways she asked if she could pray with me. It’s something Christians often ask. Even to strangers who they see are in need Guidance. I said yes! She prayed I prayed Then we held hands and prayed together.

Some of you may say this was odd. Sharing with a stranger. Praying with a person you don’t know. I say it wasn’t odd but it was God!

Don’t ever walk by or ignore a person who you know is hurting. You wouldn’t want the same to be done to you.

I have a feeling this women is about to be rewarded for taking the time to listen to my heart. May she be loved for showing love!

The key to happiness that is often overlooked!

I woke in a bed with running water, clothes to wear & food to eat! I am blessed! The majority of the population don’t have the luxuries that you and I do! They aren’t scrolling their news feed! They’re out looking for food for their families! They’re worried about where they will sleep tonight! Don’t ever take life or your health for granted! The Bible says “Do not boast about what you have today for you don’t know what tomorrow will bring”! Life can turn on a dime! Stay humble always!

Enjoy this beautiful day that God has given to you! What a gift! Andrea

Have faith that you are provided for until your earth husband comes along.

They say you should fear nothing. I do, I fear one thing and that is going broke. This has been my only fear for quite a long time and it has controlled many of the decisions I have made in my life. From where to live to what type of car I drive and sadly it’s even controlled who I choose to be in relationships with. You see, although I am now making OK money, truth be told I have been living off a savings that I made as a model for almost seven years now. Now that savings is gone and I face yet another move, I am petrified and feeling alone. About a year ago I was living in a condo in Del Mar across from the ocean for about $3000 per month. I loved it there. I loved the ocean breeze, the morning beach runs and all the beauty that is Del Mar! Then I had a flood. I was about four months into a relationship at the time of this flood and began frantically looking for housing. I had lived there for two years since moving from a big fancy five bedroom home in Ohio. You could say I was spoiled and beyond when it came to living circumstances! The man I was with lived in an RV with his surf boards and dog when I met him. It was a charmed existence of simplicity that I was attracted to however I never “lowered myself” to admit that I felt it was inviting and just one month later he sold that RV. When he sold the RV I specifically remember him saying to me “you would never see me with respect if I kept living there”. I remember thinking to myself “WOW, am I that spoiled that this guy thinks I am that shallow that I wouldn’t love him for who he is? We were after all together for a few months at this point.

Fast forward to the flood and me desperately searching for housing. Here I am frantically searching when the “man-pan-ion sends me an E-mail letting me know he wants to mesh our fur baby family together in a nice big rental home.   Never mind my fear of us moving in before marriage because he had a ring to place upon my hand to back his actions up. 

So here we have this beautiful man who changed his entire way of living to give me what he thought I wanted and then we had me who was petrified of going broke and set her faith in God that he would provide for me aside. You see, Instead of doing the honorable thing, instead of moving out on my own once again and struggling a bit more (I had little money coming in) I chose to take the easy road instead of the high road and moved in with this man.

We were like two teenage kids trying to make it. Two people who loved each other so very much, had passion for one another and who had chosen to wait to be intimate. We were on our way to becoming an “US” and had something that is difficult to find these days, a true heart to heart connection. All this man wanted to do was take my stress away and all I wanted to do is love him in return. 

As fate would have it, and as my Christian mentor told me “wait”. Wait to move in, wait to accept the ring. I know we should have no regrets and I know that we make every decision for a reason however this was one decision that one year later has me in a much worse predicament.

Instead of placing my faith in God that he would provide me with all of my needs, I moved in with the man only to have things crumble just two months later. Everything was set in fast forward ironically just how this lovely man thought it should be. It brought everything to an end before it had a chance to fully blossom or even begin. 

So here I am with no money in my savings one year later due to paying a $4000 per month rent that has just jumped up to 4600 per month and building my business on my own. I am in a much worse position financially and truth be told I am more worried, more scared and more sleepless than ever. This time however I’m putting my faith in someone or something much bigger than myself. I’m not handing things off to a man to “fix” I’m not even fixing them myself. I’m handing them over to my one and only father above, my provider and the one entity that will husband me until my Earth husband comes along.

Namaste

His divine light will guide me always

I believe we create our own reality. Over the next few days I’m faced with one of the biggest decisions of my life! It will be shaping my future, growth and birthing a new beginning to my life.
Prayers and soft whispers that I am led in the way that God wants me to go.
His divine light will guide me always.